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My sex life is healthy, as my partner and I talk about EVERYTHING — what we like, what we don’t like, what we want to try, what we don’t want to try. They say communication is key, and it’s true in the bedroom too!”
If you think about it, sex is magical. I mean, it’s pretty easy and makes both people feel amazing! Now not the following bellow to perfect sex always;
- Take your time.
Create an environment where she knows she has time to focus and relax. Remove all distractions and responsibilities, including work,TV and any daily errands. Check in advance to see how you can support her to make sure these things are done so she can focus for an hour or two (or a whole weekend) just on herself.
By supporting her in knowing she has time to just switch off, you are holding space for her to begin enjoying sex. Being rushed, distracted or disturbed can be off-putting for her. Having all these bases covered shows her you’re sensitive to her and helps you create space she can retreat deeply into.
- Pay attention to her and her needs.
For a lot of women, orgasm alone is empty when there’s no deeper connection or intention embedded within it. Sure, orgasms feel good. But many women can be left feeling “meh” after an orgasm — especially if she feels expected to perform immediately thereafter for you.
Instead, try touching her whole body with long firm strokes to get her blood moving. A stiff and nonresponsive lover is hard to get any kind of ignition happening with. By using long firm strokes over her whole body and inviting her to breathe and relax, you are letting her know she has all the time in the world to enjoy your offerings.
- Enjoy her body.
Explore different erogenous zones on her body including, neck, shoulders, scalp, ears, belly, inner thighs, inner arms, back, buttocks and feet. Try experimenting with speed or pressure. Light feathery touch can feel nice sometimes but annoying at others. Invite her feedback to help navigate her body. Then follow her cues.
- Is she ready to receive you?
Always keep communication in mind when it comes to intimacy, but especially for genital touch. Start slowly then build up. Ask her how she likes to be touched or even ask her to show you.
Keep your focus on the inner and outer lips and at this point leave and don’t of the vagina please. This is helpful because if you are both interested in helping her orgasm, staying focused on stimulating the outer areas is a great way to start. For a lot of women, a clitoral orgasm doesn’t require any kind of vaginal penetration, unless she wants and likes it. Don’t assume that she must have vaginal stimulation to orgasm, especially if you’re trying to make the session all about her needs.
- Let her participate in the process.
Ask questions, and encourage her to express herself and her needs. Sometimes it’s just the right combination of time, relaxation and technique that will provide the ultimate recipe to deep, succulent surrender and satisfaction.
- Continue as you Massage
Start by massaging each other’s backs and legs. The benefits? It helps you relax first so that you can get rid of all the pinballs in your head of all the things you’re thinking about from the day. Also, if you massage naked, it’s very sensual, and it can get the libido going. It’s just a good transition time, and we’re more likely to get “warmed up” with a massage. It shows he cares, it helps our bodies relax, and it helps us calm down mentally, too.
- Keep up the Kissing
In the throes of passion, it’s tough to remember the simple things like, you know, your name. Another essential that often falls by the wayside: lip-locking. Please you the man don’t get so consumed with what’s going on below the belt because that will stop from kissing during sex. To make her feel like you’re present and into her, you have to keep up that connection.” While in the act, take a minute to resume making out. Not only will it help you to pace yourself (wink, wink), but she’ll also be pleasantly surprised that you’ve added that sweet something extra.
- More Foreplay–And I’m Talking to You, Women!
Think of foreplay not as something that he does to you, but as something that you BOTH do. If you can become active BEFORE you start making love, you’ll find yourself much more aroused. Rub yourself against him. Climb on top of him and feel him. Take his hand and put it where you want it to go. Circle your hips and help him. If you’re lying there while he touches you, you can start to feel embarrassed, or bored, or nervous. If you’re engaged in the process, it’s more exciting for both of you.
- Make It All about Her Pleasure
In many cases, when you give, she thinks it’s just so you can receive. “A lot of women are afraid that guys only pretend to like giving oral sex to get reciprocation. So if you do it spontaneously and out of the blue, it sends the message that you find her irresistible.”
Of course, if you kiss your girl’s neck and start winding your way down, she’s going to be able to deduce what comes next. Instead, shock her panties off by stimulating her south of her border when she least expects it. One idea: Start her day off right by waking her up with oral action and a glass of OJ.
- Continue as Try a New Position
Sometimes we get into a rut and we’re afraid to try something new. But new positions can make things feel more exciting.
I have one particular position I stick with for two main reasons: it tends to feel the best, and it’s really cold in the winter and I don’t like getting out of the covers! But there’s an easy way to deal with that. Get a space heater for your bedroom and turn it on when you’re getting ready to make love. Then the fear of being cold won’t hold you back as much.
And if you have an easier time reaching orgasm in one position (most women do), that’s no reason not to try other positions as foreplay. Moving around during sex, and changing positions, has several benefits: it helps him last longer; it helps increase the excitement factor; it helps you keep your mind on what’s going on (since we women are notorious for our minds drifting during sex).
A new position can honestly feel great! So try it. Get on top. Move your legs around and find a good angle. Or whatever works for you! Make it your goal this New Year’s that AT LEAST every third time you make love you’ll use at least 3 positions. So maybe two times are fun and simple, but the spice the third time up.